My name is singkup, this is a the best short story in tear (2011) read and read for your heart..
Today is the beginning I go to school. I ... do not want to happen again the second time.I'm sure all of that illusion. I should not be sad. I've got spirit, so the words that came to ss Belia when entering the school gates.
"You, why not memakaisstali plastic shoes?" All of a sudden a sister committee Mabis (The Guidance ssSiswa) rebuked him. Young who feel one can only be silent and confused to answer. "And ininya again, make ropes kok pake axis plastki stove?" Said the older brother again, pointing to his hat made of baskets. "Hey, if anyone asked it must be answered! Why silent? "Another sister, too, the committee spoke.
"Gini kak, I forgot!" Said Young looking for a reason. Big Brother was even chuckled a bit sarcastic.
"Forgotten? Which might be able to forget? You do not have to lie, forget what lazy to look for? "Said the brother was a bit grumpy.
"I'd already prepared. But not taunya hilang.Benar Kak, do not lie! "Young was finally telling the truth. But the committee's brother is still having none of it. In the end, Young was arrested stood beside the gate of the school until the bell rang. He was a little upset at that time because the first day Mabis've made a mistake.
"The first day it had made a mistake. What about tomorrow, tomorrow! "Said the elder brother while writing dikartunya violation points. "Try not to let it happen again, yes!" Continued the elder brother. Young was only able to nod and smile. After the penalty period runs out, he joined others to march on the ground.
Although Young was trying to not make mistakes again, there are all she forget that she continues to be reprimanded and punished by a sister committee. He was so upset when participants looked at the card filled with points violations. He was afraid he would later be elected as the worst participant.
"Akh, I think it does not matter. Just relax. Think of it looking for sensation, so Loch. We will be known later on! "Said one of his friends to enjoy.
"Yeah sich also, but I do not like is known for its ugliness," said Young as he kept looking at a full participant card with points violations. He scared all over again the incident while still in junior high. Once he felt he was hated by his friends because he was often late. He felt illusions and constrained to learn because of that. He does not want to happen again. He wanted to live in peace without overshadowed by hatred. And he also tried to not sad. He wants to remain semanagat.
"You are stupid. Unlike sebayamu another friend. You are a child of no use. More you die in infancy than a child like this big! "Scolded his mother with a loud voice. Almost every day Belia scolded. While still small mengungkapakan Belia not hesitate to reply to his anger and invective. But now he does not dare. He knew all was not good. Belia dikamar could only cry and mourn what happened.
The parents to stamp Young as a child who rarely spoke. But even so, he actually wants to communicate and be cheerful like other peers, which do not always think about the lack of self. Who would not want to be like that, Belia conscience rebelled. Young has always regretted his own. Young felt he was the worst and many disadvantages. He also feels that he is always unlucky unlucky.
"You've been daydreaming it, why?" All of a sudden the words interrupted my reverie Fani Belia. Young then smiled as he looked at Fran who was staring at him.
"It's okay. I was just bored today, "said Young with a brief. He was too late then. Though he had tried to spirit. Perhaps carried away by the atmosphere of the house that always comes up fights and explosive emotions.
Day after day Belia try the spirit. He tried to resist feeling lazy to go to school. He also does not stand to be kept at home. He wanted to free beyond a burden.
"You want to come eskul what?" Ask Dwi want to know.
"I still participate eskul pengennya scouts and basketball!" Young replied thoughtfully."You?" Continued Young asked. Dwi smiled.
"I do not know. Actually I'd love to join taekwondo but here does not exist, better just go volleyball! "Said Dwi trying to vote. They then write down on a piece of paper that has been provided by the sister committee.
Finally, Young was active follow eskul scout but not with others. He so reminded of the first period when he was still in elementary school. Formerly he was very fond of the scouts, but after entering junior high school days he had already started to eliminate kehobiannya it, because he thinks with his scouts come to feel like tomboy. He refused because he wanted to look feminine. And now, he megikuti scout to commemorate the spirit he had felt in elementary school.
I want to be free. It felt very bored here. I wanted to die. I do not take it anymore. Why I do not like their cheerful bias. And why am I so ugly. I want to be a pretty girl.
The words rang Belia ketia pat on the head he stood in front of the mirror. He is a very sad time. He greatly too late at home because he hears only the emotions, quarrels between Mama and papa. Young could only silent and passive, trying to understand them.
Young whose hearts feel frantic and desperate then pick up a bottle containing a drug that has expired. He did try to commit suicide. She looked at the bottle slowly clutched it.He felt free to drink it. He was thinking the impacts that might occur if he did it. After much thought he was put back on the bottle. He was not able to do so for fear of sin. He also did not want to die with such a silly way.
That afternoon he was preparing goods that will carry tomorrow for hiking in Pulo Sari.Early in the morning he should go and gather in the school.
There, he gained an experience that is memorable because of its natural beauty that is quite tolerable. Although a little tiring, and although he had to pass through the mountain full of rocks a little steep, but Young still enjoy the trip. There are also beautiful waterfalls and crystal clear. Mountain air was also pretty cool. However, Belia were happy. He likes the weather like that.
In climbing, Young and his friends often stopped to rest. For Young, the journey was so tiring and she actually did not like having to pass through the steep road. He is a bit risky and fear of falling. Though he was very happy with SD ascent, because he wanted to be a nature lover. But now, he's not interested anymore.
"Ugh so tired!" Lia muttered as he paused to rest. Young was also leaning on large rocks and take a water bottle from her bag. "It's three o'clock in the afternoon ya, if the home would have preferably sleep. I feel a lot better if this tau baseball come! "Said Leah when looking at his watch.
"I think not. I am happier here, than to spend holidays at home. Boring! "Said Young participated voice. He was then set up around the place is pretty creepy and foggy. "Ih if there is a fall there how are you?" Continued murmuring Belia bit steep when I saw the place full of trees.
"Hush, do not speak carelessly!" Said his friends spontaneously. Young was a little surprised by the jolt of his friends who all of a sudden. "Remember, we can not get the words out at random in a place like this, so the message brother!" Continued his friend, smiling.
"Forgive me!" Says Young with great regret.
They then continue the journey that is still long. After a few hours later, they finally arrived at the sulfur is located. He heard a roar and seen smoke coming out of big rocks. At first he thought it was the voice of the waterfall it was brimstone roar.
"Finally we come too!" Said Young little relief. Young then joined his friends after being seated direrumputan while eating.
"You do not have that carry eggs? Boil it there, would immediately ripe! "Said one coach's brother said, pointing toward the sulfur.
"Well may mature ya! It must be very hot. If the skin does not get anything right, brother?He said sulfur is good for the skin? "Young said thoughtfully.
"Yes it's okay. It will not die really, just then the skin will ancur! "Replied the little brother mempercandakan. Young was so small laughed to hear it. His friend who also participated in addition to smiling.
Long they sat and ate food brought from home. While the brothers are busy approaching the coach a lot of sulfur water. Belia was silent, staring at the large stone-epul steaming them. Her voice was clear ears. Young wanted to approach the rocks, but he did not dare. The smell alone was stinging. His head was so dizzy from the smell. Young then threw the body direrumputan. Maketh a heavy bag pillow. He stared at the sky and smoke sulfur. He was reminded of death.
Death is not the end of everything. We all .. all of us here will die. We do not know when the moment arrives. What we know death will come true. Whoever that person.
But when Young was pensive, his eyes suddenly became strange. And he also felt a little chill piercing. Eve made her feel not want to speak a word until in the end Belia hear a word that implied dibenaknya, jinxed. The words were heard when he was bumped into someone. The person looked at him a moment.
Why ... why the illusion that appear again? No, it's stare. Why would imply words like that. Really I jinxed? No. I'm not doing anything wrong, said Young in the liver. The words kept raging in his heart to become a burden to themselves Belia.
Since then, illusions that he was afraid to appear again. He could almost feel the thoughts that others think about him. That's why he became depressed. He was reminded by the words of his sociology teacher who said that man is endowed with a deep instinct that can feel and know other people love or hate on us, although it does not say anything because human feelings can not be deceived.
But why? So many strange words that I felt from them about me. I rang as if by a word I hate and I feared that I feel people think that way about me, "said Young in the liver.Young still feels guilty and disturbed by the feeling-that feeling. Although he had tried to throw but strange feelings that always comes to mind. In a way, Young is too sensitive due to the mental pressure that never stopped Belia pervading spirit. That's why Young became paranoid and easily distracted by little things surrounding environment. Like a vicious circle, thought Belia when reminded of a book he had read.
"Young, what do you want to come LDKS?" Ask Rasti, one close friend Belia Belia was pensive when alone in class. Young nodded. From his words, Young could tell his friends that also have no intention to participate LDKS. Young then smiled at her face just shows friendliness. Young is trying to cover the gloom that is being experienced.
Puri, he was one friend who first made Belia Belia could feel a little courage and a sense of optimism in the face of problems. But nonetheless, Belia still feel they have no friends. Young remained alone. He saw no friends who are willing to receive when he was grieving. They like to aggregated-separated in search of friends, so thought Belia.That's why Young thinks maybe he should be cheerful even though she really was sad.And, he also tried to remain friendly and not withdrawn. But unexpectedly, in fact even be turned the other. Young can not cover the melancholy heart. And the hospitality was turned into a childish immature nature. Nature was making her friends grow not like him.Belia so confused what to do anymore. The problems of the home be brought to school.All of that is also disturbing to learn Belia school. Values become ugly. School work is also rarely Belia do. Young finished his elementary teingat period. In the past he does not like to see friends who do not like lessons. Moreover, no homework. Because for Young, studying is everything. He likes to learn. Unlike her friends at that time. They prefer to cheat him. But now, cheat for Young is a must because he would not bad value.And Young did not want to if he is not the next grade. His parents would scold him badly.
But the achievement or not, same thing. They still will think of me as a child who is weak and foolish, thought Belia. When I was elementary school, Young was known sebgai child achievement. That's why many of his friends who often praised him. School's teachers also often discuss achievements he accomplished. But Young knew, he was actually not so smart. He just wanted to vent his satisfaction to be able to compete with his friends. Young to know, he was a little child does not have a way. He understood from the attitude of the people who are nearby in assessing himself.
But now compliments and accomplishments that have become memories. Since sitting dibangku junior, Young changed manjadi do not like studying. He has no interests to excel. What she wanted was to be cheerful like other friends. It turned out that the words ever spoken her parents hearts Belia imprint.
"What a stupid child. Useless can master the lessons but could not get along. Then why spend a lot of money to menyekolahkanmu if venom theory but practice can not! "Is how the words are often uttered his parents when Young was in grade school. Since then, Young began to think of not thinking about school lessons. Young also think that the achievements were only to be a shield for them to blame him, if he made a mistake.Even a small error that is considered by them as a big mistake. Therefore Belia often feel tormented. He felt himself to be treated harshly, even though it only with words.Almost every day Belia cry. Almost every day Belia get invective, and almost every day also Belia feel irritated. Though Young did not want that. He did not want his heart overwhelmed by anger. Because of her anger will only bring sorrow. But what power, they always say the words that struck and pierced his heart. The words that n spicy it makes the emotional Young could not be controlled.
God, whether the incident will happen again when I was a junior? No. I do not want. God send me someone who can membahagiakanku. That could make my life meaningful.Do not let me despair like this. Do not let me think to commit suicide again. God, what can you hear my prayers?
In Belia room crying. He pondered his past. I do not know until when Belia feel like it, always sad and just live in anger. Anger does not mean that at all but instead will only make him more miserable.
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